i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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