You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
