I showed him my bush... on skype.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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