you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
