help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
