I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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