butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
