I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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