How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
