Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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