insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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