Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
