what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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