so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
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Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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