wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Randomize
