My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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