god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
