come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
