Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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