what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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