Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
