honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
third nipple confirmed
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
