I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
