dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so much tequila, so little girl.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow