The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
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HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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