You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it