1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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