using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
