Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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