the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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