ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
