You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
