Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
