Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
