We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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