i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just invented taco cereal.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
