So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
