You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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