have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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