Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's blow job season.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
