Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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