i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
