I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
