I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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