her vagine was all disorganized.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
