I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
