But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
