best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
