Don't make out with my wife yet
Duck Duck Cougar?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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