so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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