There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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