he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
