Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
