I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize