Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
