I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
