I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I would fuck him just for his dog
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
