ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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