the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
