I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
