Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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