Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
last night I used snow as a chaser
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
