I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
