can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think i have herpe
just one?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
