are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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